why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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