I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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