.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
