are you still at the devil's house?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Shame - the story of my life.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
