Soap is not a condiment
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
