That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
