he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I am one with the molecules
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
