Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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