john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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