playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
