Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
