just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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