I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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