VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
