so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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