Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
