a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
