We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize