You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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