You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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