I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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