so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
