Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
