YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
