Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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