so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
