I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Drunk is not a location!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize