Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize