I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
