yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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