I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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