is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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