He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
