where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My penis needs a shock collar
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
