walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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