yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
