dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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