she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
