I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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