In the future we'll all be gay
we have officially lost it.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
