Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
