nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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