My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize