The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
