mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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