I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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