5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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