new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
