Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't notice because vodka
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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