I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
