i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
