His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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