Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
