hell yes lets make some ravioli
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
