Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
