it glows. i had to have it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
