You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
