Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
