What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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