my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
