Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
