Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
